I've been sad, quite a bit.
People ask me why I'm sad. I say oh Miles enlisted, I won't get to see him for 17 days.
This is the part I hate.
I fcuking hate it when people start laughing and say aiyah two weeks only, it's nothing la.

Let me tell you something, it's not nothing. It's depressing. Unless you've been through it yourself, you have absolutely no right to say it's nothing. Screw off all of you. I'm sorry I'm such an emotional being that has the need to cry and rant. I know I must sound completely ridiculous now but whatever.

Just six more days. I keep telling myself it's all worth the wait. We're getting stronger with each passing day and I know it'll all be alright in the end.

So why does this wait feel endless. Why do I feel so alone. I spend the entire day doing so much stuff, just to keep myself occupied. But really, sometimes my heart isn't even in it. It's so hard to take my mind off things, to tell myself just DON'T THINK. It's insane. I feel like I'm going insane. I have no idea how I used to be able to go a week without seeing my boyfriend and like be fine with it. I must have been mad.

Sometimes I hate feeling this way. Feeling so weak and useless. I wish I was stronger, strong enough to hold myself together for you.

I know I must sound like some crazy overly emotional and sensitive teenager but whatever. I'm angsty and miserable, deal with it.

I miss you Miles, and that's a huge understatement. I don't know how to put the rest of my feelings into words.

Breathe Nic, breathe.