): ): ):

Been thinking a lot today. If I were to die, who would cry? If I had a funeral, who would attend it? I know, really depressing thoughts that don't sound like me at all. I never really thought about stuff like this before. Never really had to before today. My friend passed away this morning due to a bike accident. I wasn't very close to her. But she was still a friend. It's shell shocking to lose a friend at an age like this. We just barely made it past our teenage years. You don't expect anyone to go so soon. This just really proves it. Live like you're dying. Be grateful to be able to spend time with someone you want to today, because you never know if you would get the chance to do it again. Say naice things, because you never know if that would be your last conversation with that person. I don't know how to think or feel. Ever since I heard the news, I felt as though I've been punched in the stomach. I just saw her yesterday and she was perfectly fine. And now, she's not. Well Val, I hope you're resting in peace now. God will always be with you, looking after you. I know I did not make much of an impact in your life, but I'll always remember you because you were with me the first time I went to Phuture. You are loved and missed. RIP Val.

And so, I was thinking about my own funeral. You know, we always just casually say stuff like kill me now omg I want to die seriously. Shit like this. But have we REALLY thought about it? The idea of death, of not existing anymore, not breathing, not eating, not walking, not bathing, not being. Did you think of what you'd leave behind? The people you would affect? Would people cry? Or would they laugh? These are the things that I was thinking about today. I decided that when I die, I want EVERYONE to be at my funeral. Even people I hated when I was alive, or people who hated me, people I only said hi once to, people I don't really know, people I'm not really close to. EVERYONE. I know this is kind of unrealistic but I can still hope. I hope my funeral won't be stifling. You guys can make noise and stuff. Wear bright colours. Gamble if you want to. If it has to be a gathering, then let's at least make it a party. Party in memory of me. And please, make sure they play good music at my funeral, no depressing stuff. Also, please put me in a naice dress. I WANT TO LOOK GOOD at my last party. And choose some really pretty picture of me alright. I want to look good in everyone's last memory of me. I know whoever reads this is going to be like Nic don't talk nonsense and all that. But I mean it. You never know when you're gonna go, when your time is up. I want to be prepared. So now you know.