Sigh it looks as though everybody brought their game yesterday. Everyone except me that is. Sigh. I have no idea how come I screwed up so bad, no idea. It was as though I lost my fire. I have no idea whats going on with me. It's messing with me, messing with my head and my heart. Argh, I wish I could just block everything out and concentrate on whats important, which is fencing. I just want to be happy, I'm trying to be. I don't want to hurt anymore. It's too much to deal with. I can't deal with all this pain and yet be full of fire to fence. I am not superwoman. Please, make me happy.

I have a really painful bruise on my butt now. You know those chairs that automatically close when you stand up? Yeah I forgot that the chair would retract when I stood up so I sat down without pulling the seat back down. Ouch ):